Yesterday I was revising for Chemistry, and on one of the pages I saw this:
Yeah, it was a paragraph about how fossil fuels are poisonous (mark the dinosaur above Mr Cage’s head), but look at how those big headed cartoons look like Nicolas Cage! All of them (okay, maybe not the dinosaur).
It’s not really anything life changing, but a few months ago I was browsing fact sites and I found this. Nicky on a Serbian Biology Textbook!
In fact I kind of understand Serbian. It says: BIOLOGY, for 8 something something thorough school. Basically, a thorough guide to biology.
But what is it with Nicolas Cage and Science textbooks? What is he, the God of Science, now? Woah. Now that I think about it, maybe he is some immortal God. Wasn’t he in that eBay photo from the 18th century or something? And is he wearing a skirt? Why does he look like a Mexican in a rose field?
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Anyway, there’s this new black and white Brad Pitt ad on TV where he’s promoting some perfume that my dad would probably make some remark about (“even old grannies wouldn’t pick this up” and “are you supposed to clean your toilet with this or wear it?”).
I was learning Spanish today so I’m going to finish this off in Spanish. If you don’t speak Spanish, there’s always Google Translate, which won’t hesitate to do a half-assed kindergarten attempt to translate it.
Quiero un Mustang. Quiero mucho dinero pero yo soy pobre. No sé. Bien, adios.
I’m typing this half scratched to death because a while ago I started crazily dancing to ‘Wheel in the Sky’ by Journey, and my cat just couldn’t help himself. But c’mon, tell me it isn’t catchy.
All I can say right now is THANK GOD for E4! Without it I wouldn’t have found How I Met Your Mother, and I would have spent hours depressing myself about my situation instead of watching awesome TV.
Anyway, I seriously need to do something about my money-less situation. I’m not panicking or anything. It’s just that if I don’t make $400,000 by the end of 2.4 years I’ll have to stay in London and die in depression! Okay, maybe I’m a bit panicked. But still, I’ve added this ‘Hire Me’ button thing on the sidebar, so if you need someone to work through the night, tirelessly typing from old books, hire me!
In other news, my arms are getting muscley again, which I’m happy about because when someone asks me where something is, I get to flex my arms when pointing backwards and they do this awesome Popeye thing! 😀
I’m probably going swimming tomorrow, and joining a martial arts class, so there ya go! Training myself for the future (just learn about what I’ve learnt about and see what I have and then see if you still don’t want to do anything about it)!
My book is…not going places. Rewrites are harder than I thought!
Ooo, and does anyone watch the XFactor? I watch the British one and the American one. They’re two hours each, and it’s PAINFUL to sit through them and the commercial breaks, but something makes me do it Every day there’s something on TV. Every. Damn. Day. Some people would think this as good, but no. No. Do you realise how much time you can waste while watching TV? I watch at least four hours a day. But my mum’s friend got x factor tickets and apparately it was awesome. Hmm.
Okay, so. 4 hours x 7 days. 28 hours. 28 hours x 52 weeks. 1456 hours. 1456 hours is 60.6 days. Holy crap. That’s nearly 61 days of my YEAR wasted. I could be doing something else. I could write two books in that time! Argh.
But wait. That’s not all. How many days in my whole life do I waste? I’ve lived 15 years of my life, so let’s say I get lucky and have 70 left. 60.6 x 70 = 4242. That’s 101808 hours, dude. 11.6 years of my life…that’s a kid…gone. . To watching TV? I need to do something with my life. Sigh.
And since my hits are going down, do you guys have any suggestions as to what I could add on the blog? I mean, it’s been running for a year and I still get less hits than the illiterate ‘Twilight Reviews’ websites
For now, bye guys! If you’ve read this far, I love y’all!
I was about to title this Possibilities but that’s cheesy. How do you spell possibilities again? Aha, thank you spellchecker! I had a mini ‘does professor have a double p or double s?’ moment there.
Well, *clears throat*, before I start this post I would like to ask you lovely people…Oh, whatever, let me just say it the way I normally would. Please vote for me! I entered a story in a competition and if I ever become a billionaire I promise I’ll give you $1000 if you vote for me 😀 Here! It’s free to download or you can also read it here. But those five stars are begging you to be clicked, so please, don’t leave them hanging.
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Anyway, I’ve been thinking about my life. Only I had an iPod in my hand as opposed to a beer, which older people would have been holding. Where will I go? What will I do? I’ve always known that I want to roadtrip America in a Mustang, but what would happen if I just succumbed to geekness and went to university (shudder)?
There’s nothing wrong with uni, I guess (apart from the fact that you’ve lived more than 1/4 of your life by the time you get out — and spent it rotting in textbooks studying the complex structure of fungi). It’s just not for me. I mean, intermediate maths is enough, man! When am I ever going to use x squared minus fifty-thousand y in real life? Plus, you can’t even compare a dusty school to badass roadtrips! What do you think?
But let’s just say I completely forget about my dreams (gasp) and take the boring route in life.
I suddenly start revising like mad >> I get As in everything (I’m not saying I didn’t kiss my report card in real life, though!) >> I go to college >> I go university >> I die of boredom >> I’m resurrected into a painfully boring office job.
I’m NOT taking that path. Let’s go down another one…
I quit education >> I clean the streets >> I get knifed by some ‘hey bro look at my moves!’ kid and die.
Oops. Not quite what I wanted either. And finally…
I learn martial arts, and awesome skills such as gun shooting >> I make money from my books >> I buy a Mustang and a couple’a classic rock tapes >> I go on the road!! >> Hells yeah roadtrip!
Yeah!! That! That! That’s what my little counter there in the sidebar is for. Only 2.4 years left! 🙂
Of course, I’m going to get people telling me it’s childish, or I deserve to put my knowledge into something else. My parents will kill me, my teachers will kill me. “Oh, why can’t you be like everyone else?” will ring in my ears. But you see guys, I don’t want to be normal. I don’t want to be another piece in the damn jigsaw of our brainwashed society. I have a life — a whole life! Why would I want to be like everyone else? So think about that whenever your parents or whoever tell you, “Why can’t you be normal?”
I’m convinced that if my life was a movie, I’d get whisked away from my flat tomorrow and trained to be a spy. I’d learn how to shoot guns, fight and do those crazy gymnastics flips. And I’d be perfect by the end of…a week.
That always seems to happen in every spy book/movie/whatever. The kid is trained and knows how to do everything better than the adults that have been in the business for over twenty years.
But I don’t think I’d want to be a spy anyway. I wouldn’t want to work for the lying government or dress up in those fancy clothes or prance around with ridiculous gadgets. I think I’d enjoy it if I was my own person and could complete cases myself 😀
Just imagine it…walking in some shady poorly lit bar at night, ordering a beer and just cleaning my guns on the table. Paft, in real life I’d get arrested, but let’s just pretend it could happen…
Anyway, before I start getting too excited, let’s switch to talking about something…less exciting but still engaging. I’ve been watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory and Rules of Engagement since the start of the damn year. Every day from 1pm to 3pm. It’s kind of crazy actually. I think I’m obsessed.
I also parkoured the whole apartment yesterday (if you can call it parkour — it was more like running and smashing my face along the walls). My cat plonked itself on the bed so that was out of order, not that I think anything would happen if I fell on him. If I did, I have the feeling I’d just be swallowed into his fur.
So I don’t think I’m that good. Watching let’s plays of Mirror’s Edge didn’t help, either.
I think I’ll cut this post short today, since I have the desire to post tomorrow too. I always post on Spanish learning days, and tomorrow is one!
I’ve had plenty of obsessions over the many years of childhood.
I remember being around three years old and wanting to be a tortoise. My mother used to tie pillows to my back, I kid you not. A few years later, when I broke my leg (and I lied to the doctor that it wasn’t broken, leading to no cast, leading to it still hurting almost 8 years later), I really wanted to be able to fly. I actually made my religious grandma pray to God to give me a ‘flying ability’.
I used to paint a lot when I was a little kid. All those days spent against the radiator, drawing and painting and sketching paid off, because even though I don’t do so any more, they enhanced my skills and I still have them. I planned a drawing contest with a guy once, when I was eleven-years-old. We were supposed to bring our best drawings in. I brought the BEST thing I’d done: a parrot painting, and some other drawings. Like a whole damn folder. The guy didn’t bring anything. Lol.
Writing was also a priority for me. I used to write stories for everything. I’m sure I’ve told you guys this, but when my dad announced he was going to buy ice-cream for the first time in like two years, I wrote a story about a girl and her imaginary friend, who was called…wait for it…cream-ice. Groan.
Those stories progressed to making blogs (my very first one was a Club Penguin one — everyone had one! Unfortunately, the game changed too much now), and after them, I started writing longer tales. I’ve finished two manuscripts now, and one is in its second draft! Anyway, I started this blog a few years later after the CP obsession (which I was too old for, anyway xD).
Now, my next obsession will span through my whole life. What could it be? I’ll give you a clue: every kid wants to be him. You probably guessed from the title…but…it’s Indiana Jones!
God, I was so obsessed with him! I watched Indy 4 (lots of people hated it, but I was also obsessed with Shia Labeouf back then — oh jeez, I was only ten) with my dad, then I was off. I got the books for Christmas, and the handbook and journal as well.
Doesn’t everybody want to be like Indy? A rugged adventurer? Well, all the little boys wanted to. I’m like the only girl that prefers adventures and guns over make up and flowers (even though I’ve been taking a liking to slightly more girly stuff these days — hormones, what are you doing?). The chipping of one of my teeth just confirmed how stupidly boisterous I can be. Just look at the sidebar pictures, for God’s sake! (I should totally add Indy to it)
This is full size because you should admire the manliness Jones radiates.
You don’t want to underestimate Indiana Jones Syndrome. It hits you like a rock. I still want to be like him, damn it! A lot of people think he was based on this guy called Roy Chapman Andrews. He was an explorer, adventurer and lead a series of investigations through the Gobi desert once, I think. He was deathly scared of snakes too.
Another movie-man I really love is Blondie!!! Oh, wait, you don’t know him? Hmm…
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is like my favorite movie along with Indy. There are two types of people in the world, my friend. Those who watch awesome movies and have awesome heroes, and those who spend their life on their BlackBerrys and do nothing productive (aka, the rest of my generation).
I swear, I’m doomed. Just looked at the under 20s walking the streets these days. Baggy jeans, ugly hats, stupid damn music, crazy clothes, rotten attitudes and useless slang terms. I’m totally doomed. All the boys in my generation have gone girly!! I’ll never find a husband (unless I time travel and meet Indy along in some adventure)!
Me and my Zeppelin and Mustang and adventures and old movies and God knows what. I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be like other people, or they’re supposed to be like me. I guess I’m just not as brainwashed. I mean, not to boast but, I’m the only one in my class that has actually worked out and had an apple in her life. Some people haven’t even read a book. Some people can’t even tell the time. You see why I’m so worried about getting married?
Before I go, let me tell you I borrowed a Spanish book from the library today. A book in Spanish, and I understand a bit! Squee!!! Anyway, bye for now 🙂
It seems like I don’t post much any more, doesn’t it? 😦 I’ve just been so busy, and so many things have changed, but I’m here to post again!
A few days ago, I wrote the THE END to my book, so it’s finished! Well, not completely. Most of it is unrealistic and I need to change a LOT, but at least I’ve finished the first draft! I also visited the library today and borrowed A TON of chic flick books. What? I need some happiness in my life. Now all I seem to be reading are cheesy books, and spy books.
Anyway, if you want to know more about my book, then click here 🙂 I’ll reveal more as the second draft pushes on.
I’ve been learning Spanish Every. Single. Day. Sorry, school, but twice a week is absolute crap. Babies don’t learn how to speak by listening a teacher drone on 3 hours or so a week. They’re surrounded by it. So far, I think I’ve progressed more in two weeks than in the past year! 😀 Estoy feliz!
I’ve been learning using a lot of books and powerpoints, but there’s this really good BBC interactive drama called Mi Vida Loca. It’s for beginners, so if you’ve wanted to learn Spanish for ages and don’t know where to start, pick this! It’s fun and easy! I’m not really a beginner, but I’m still learning things from it.
I’m gonna learn French and German and…probably Korean xD It’s extremely useful to know languages, ya know. It’s kind of awkward trying to talk to a foreigner in broken English and hand motions.
I’ve also been…training myself? I started teaching myself a little parkour and I’ll be starting martial arts soon. I’m going swimming too. Did you know I learnt how to swim in…a not very safe way? I guess it should have been safe, but…
A few years back, our school paid for weekly swimming lessons in some swimming pool. They put me in the deep end in a mistake, and when I nearly drowned they didn’t bother to fish me out. Then they made us jump in and tread water. I didn’t even know how to freestyle swim back then! I was so scared, I knew I was gonna die if I didn’t suddenly learn how to tread water. I jumped in, spluttered around…
Then started treading water. How? I don’t know. Suddenly, I knew how to. It’s like this instinct that pushed out. And I suddenly knew how to swim. It just goes to show that we can all do things, and it’s just that we need a scary shove to get it out of us. Anyway, I learnt how to swim pretty well and faster than others due to that event. 😀
But I’m starting to go swimming regularly now. It really builds up your arm muscles and it’s so useful. I know I’m not a man, but I really want to learn how to do EVERYTHING. Our ancestors didn’t survive by living their life off benefits or junk food. They didn’t survive by singing or acting. They did it by fighting and using their skills. So, yeah. That’s what I’ll do.
Do you think you could survive next to this lot by doing pointless things like office-management and stacking cans of bean soup in your local supermarket? No. I know there aren’t any of these beasts left over, but still, knowing how to fight, swim and whatever is always cooler than sitting boxed up all day with no skills on your back.
How did we get to talking about pre-historic creatures from the subject of me wanting to learn new things? Sigh.
I also couldn’t sleep much last night. I made the mistake of letting my cat in my room and he wouldn’t stop meowing. I think he was talking in his sleep on something. Anyway, I got up at 3am and moved rooms, lol. Then I had a dream that Obama wanted to kill me, so he teamed up with my family and then all my teeth fell out. Isn’t dreaming about teeth falling out bad luck? I always dream it 😦 Every. Single. Night. I’m doomed 😦
Guys, if anyone is reading this (because the daily visits to this blog fell :(), then do you have any suggestions on what else I could learn to do? Something along the lines of swimming or parkour or whatever. Those sort of skills.
Also, since I’m trying to write more, do you have any ideas you’d like to see down on paper and made into a book? Thanks 😀
PS. I’m a really weird person. I like muscle cars and Led Zeppelin and action movies and all things badass, yet I’m a total bookworm and write books. How did this happen?
PSS. Hey! This is my 50th post! Awesome! Maybe I’ll do some give-away or something when we get to 100…
Man, I’ve been torturing myself for the past week. I’ve managed to conjure up 22,000 words worth of a NOVEL I’m writing. And writing hurts me. It hurts my eyes and my brain and my fingers will go all crooked…but I love it so hah, body, take that.
Anyway. We went to my cousin’s farm around two days ago. I don’t know whether it was the lack of sun or the rhythmic gymnastics that fueled me, but I pounded out 3,000 words on Word. Yeah.
But it used to be so hot in Bulgaria (it was 42 degrees celsius a few days ago), and now it’s just 30 😦 Still, it’s better than London’s 18.
Speaking of London, the Olympics ended yesterday, I think. Or the day before…I’m not sure. I didn’t see the closing ceremony! Why? I saw the boring opening, but not the closing! Anyone find it weird how the opening ceremony showed Britain’s worst bits, instead of the best? Slaves, pain, etc. What? Hopefully the Paralympics will be just as good as the sports on the Olympics…I love the rhythmic gymnastics.
I don’t actually have anything to tell you guys, because I’ve just been typing away on the same sofa and laptop for the past week or so and I swear, the next time I’ll see them both will be on my x-ray.
The only news is that I published my Ancient Mondays book to Amazon Kindle, and it will be out on CreateSpace soon, too. Readers, if you have a Kindle, please buy it. It’s really short, and seriously, I’m trying to find a way to survive here, guys. Just hop over to the ‘My Books’ page. There you can also see the current novel I’m writing. 🙂
OH, OH. I just remembered! I’m learning French! My cousin’s fallen in love with the language, so we’re both learning it using these Coffee Break podcasts, and I’m proud to say that I know a few words already 😀
Hello Scarletians (wahay, I’ve even got a name for ya’ll readers!)!
I’m going on holiday to Bulgarian tomorrow! Finally! The thing I’m going to enjoy most is being away from school and this horrible British weather.
A rather large suitcase is staring at me from the corner of the room, hungry for my clothes. The jumbo crossword puzzle book is on the shelf, ready to be plucked out and shoved inside my backpack.
I wonder what I’ll forget to bring this year. A few years ago I brang my Nintendo DSi but forgot all the games xD Another year, I was planning on writing a journal about the whole experience but forgot my diary.
Anyway, let me tell you about the past week. You know what happened on Monday: we went to that university. But on Tuesday…oh Tuesday.
Tuesday was the best day ever. We went to Windsor, and got to ride on those open-roof buses. They gave us free headphones to plug in on the side of the bus to hear about the landmarks. We could change the language it spoke in, and I spent half my time laughing at the accents.
The wind was HORRIBLE and I don’t even know how I didn’t get a horrific sunburn or a cold. It nearly blew my head off. I think I stepped off that bus looking like a tornado survivor.
We then got 90 minutes to ourselves to explore the place. My best friend and I just headed off in the opposite direction everyone was going. We entered a few souvenir stores so I could try and find presents for my parents and for my relatives (that I’m going to see tomorrowwww!).
In the end I ended up spending years staring at the fluffy animal things you hang on your phone. We left to see if there was anything better worth buying before coming back to the same shop for me to buy the fluffy thing. It’s so fluffy it feels like there’s nothing in your hand!! It’s name is Coconut. 🙂
We then paraded around random places, nearly getting lost and then taking photos next to a fake cow. I think that was the only photo we took of ourselves there.
After that whole ordeal, we entered HMV. My friend stared at the iPads longingly, then took an inverted photo of herself, leaving it on the screen to scare any passer-by crap-less.
Then I ate my sandwich, and my friend dribbled all the eggy contents from hers onto the bench outside a bar. It looked pretty weird. I have this whole process that I must do when I am in possession of a yogurt and some raisins. I must pour the raisins in the yogurt and then eat it. Mmm.
I noticed I still hadn’t got anything for my parents and relatives, so we hopped, skipped and jumped into the 10th souvenir store to try and find something. Yup, I found a teddy bear for my cousin and a nice pack of shortbread for my parents. They love shortbread.
We barely got back in time for our coach to leave. Time for ice-skating!
The ice-skating was AMAZING! When I first got on, I fell. This girl started screaming and thrashing about, grabbing my arm and causing me to fall over her legs. I spent a few minutes crawling about, wondering what way to get up to avoid cutting off my fingers with sharp skates.
Eventually, a nice old grandpa skated over to us and told me to get on my knees and grab the railing. I did that, and it seemed to work. Everyone then had to skate around , grabbing on the railing for damn dear life.
After a few minutes, people got confident and let go. Ice-skating is actually pretty easy to learn. I mean, to skate in a straight line looking like a constipated parrot. The rest is pretty hard.
I learnt how to skate okay, and happily whizzed around for two hours, looking behind me to make sure my best friend wasn’t dead. You have to be careful around her. Something always goes wrong! Or maybe that’s just me…
We had to go to the toilet at one time, which was hilarious. Going to the toilet on skates is not easy. While in the bathroom, I started telling her how an ice-skating rink would be a perfect place for a murderer. Free knives! After telling her all this, a person flushed the toilet in a cubicle. I think I scared him.
Then we went home, and I thought about how awesome everything had been. The best day in the year, easily!
This post is getting a bit too long, right? Well, I still have to tell you about Wednesday and Thursday! Yippee!
On Wednesday, we went to the beach with our classes. We had to wait an hour for them to sort out everything, watching Mr Bean to pass the time. When we finally went, it took at least two hours to get there.
We expected a sunny, glorious day with waving waves and muscled men selling corn cobs. What did we get? A cold, ugly, bleak day and stormy waves. No muscled men, no corn cobs. No arcades or kiosks. Ooops, I forgot England isn’t Bulgaria!
My friend and I spent most of the time in the cafe, taking photos of napkins and trying to make them look nice using instagram-like filters. I ate my sandwich happily, staring at the people eating an endless supply of chips and cupcakes. Guess how much a cup of coffee cost? £5. Woah.
We exited the cafe, only to be met with either a bunch of naked boys, or boys with completely wet clothes. Some were taking showers. What? Why the hell would you jump in the sea when it’s not even 10 degrees celsius? If you were brave enough to enter the toilets there, you’d want to puke. Mud, tissues and wet clothes EVERYWHERE.
We went for a walk, but then my friend saw a tiny dog a mile away and decided she hated walks, and it was time to run like hell. Well.
Then we went home, and I think I slept.
On Friday, we had a large assembly at school. A Chinese boy played the piano like Beethoven, as if he’d been learning for 50 years instead of just 2. Asians.
After that, we went to our form rooms and had a party. Food was brought in. SO. MUCH. FOOD. OMG. Like literally, you could feed everyone in the entire world with that much food. Damn. Guess what? My class devoured it in less than 10 minutes.
My friend and I took a video of our teacher as they gave us a goodbye speech, and then we took photos with them (probably the only people to do so).
It was all sad. When I got home, I splattered myself over the bed and thought FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Now hopefully I can get a book published or make some money another way before next year, so I can avoid being tortured for the fourth year at this devilish place.
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This post is massive…wow. But to end it, I have to tell you guys I’ll be travelling tomorrow, all day. Then till August 27th (I think) I’ll be in Bulgaria. I think I’ll be able to post, but I’m not sure.
I have good news! I recently won $200…which I guess isn’t that much, but for me, it’s something!
I now have to decide what to spend it on. Clothes? Nah. Shoes? Who the hell cares about shoes? I’m thinking of saving it somewhere, and using it to sign myself up into clubs. Clubs that teach me things I’m gonna need, like martial arts or guns (I sound like a criminal).
Anyway, this post is gonna may or may not be quite short.
This whole week is going to be school trips. Today we went to the university of Sussex, where it’s supposedly the sunniest campus in the UK. Yeah, spin me another tale. It rained like hell. On the coach, the guy behind me wouldn’t stop being a stupid nuisance and annoying me.
Something that surprised me more than necessary was the amount of food being served. What is the school trying to feed? Elephants? The plates, I kid you not, were as big as a large saucepan, and the food was so much it nearly toppled out.
They had massive slices of cake, crisps, and other junky things. The whole meal could be split into seven portions and feed my whole family (and the cat). Jeez, and they wonder why obesity is growing. Sussex university is your answer.
On the way home, the girl in front of me pushed her seat back SO FAR I died. There was literally no space for me; now I know what a sandwich filling feels like. She then fell asleep. C’mon, dude. Wake up! The worst thing was that the trip was two hours long. Sigh. My situation fits this image perfectly.
In other news, I’m going to Bulgaria for my summer holidays in 5 days. Yay. Some sun. Finally.
I’m typing this on my iPad, so I’ll add images and other things tomorrow, when I’m not deathly tired and in bed (done). G’night!
Summer arrived 17 days ago. It hasn’t started for me yet. How can it start when I live in London? It’s never consistently sunny or warm here. You get 4 seasons in a day. I read the newspaper today, and it said that some towns were flooded with 2ft of water. And that there would be more days like this and summer was over. Fabulous. Well, I’m happy that I’m not going to spend my whole holiday in London.
Summer starts for me when I go to Bulgaria. Every year I go to Bulgaria to visit my relatives. It’s always nice and scorching hot! Weather you can actually get a tan in. I start off by wearing jeans and some jumper thing in England, and when I get off the plane, I regret picking those clothes.
My plans are to tan like hell, go for jogs, write books and try to make money. This summer, I’ll look amazing for the beach. And I’ll make sure it won’t be windy like last year (simply because we went to the beach near September when it was colder).
For next year, I have a couple of plans…earn damn money, buy a treadmill so I don’t have to do freaky thought on the spot workouts, be self educated, survive, learn 4 languages, learn krav maga, learn how to drive a car (even though I’m not old enough, screw it), write three books, get one or more published, make more money.
I also made an instagram today. No idea why since I’m probably not gonna use it at all. Here’s a picture of my cat:
So I’ve got no idea what I’m gonna do to fit everything in in just 35 something days. and then crappy school…I’m going to make sure I don’t go back there next year. I hate it. I don’t care how disappointed or ashamed my parents become of me, I’m just done with public school. It wastes my time. All I get is pointless homework, thousands of stupid tests, and a billion speeches and presentations a day. To top that off, they’re moving our forms around. Great. So now I have to make new friends. They say “embrace it! Socialise! Change has to happen!” What the hell? That’s like saying “we’re gonna move you to a different family, but embrace it! Socialise! Change has to happen!”
NO.
I also have sports day coming up…was supposed to buy something either white, red or blue but I got black for the day xD meh, it looks good. I had a Spanish speaking exam too. Felt like I was talking to a Mexican cowboy who would kill me if I got something wrong, even though the teacher had a nice smile plastered on the whole time.
Reminds me…I need to go watch The Good, the Bad and the Ugly again. We watched the end in maths and some people weren’t fully appreciating it…their loss.
So…bye bye guys! I’ll let you know if I’m dead or not the day after tomorrow…
Don’t you ever feel bored with your own life after watching a movie? Me too. Some movies have amazing objects/creations…Here is my list of what fictional things I’d love to exist:
NZT-48
We watched Limitless in school yesterday; it was my second time watching it, and the billionth time I wondered what life would be like if I had this wonder drug. NZT lets you access all 100% of your brain, instead of the measly 20% (but apparently we use even less that 10%). Bradley Cooper’s character got as clever as hell with this. I want one! At least just to finish my book?
Matilda’s Powers
C’mon, you’ve flung your arm at least twice to test if you have Matilda’s powers. When I was a little kid, I used to get extremely depressed with my powerless life. Imagine how awesome it would be to scare your enemies off by slamming a door shut just by looking at it? Yesterday the windows were open in class, and the door kept on slamming. I made sure I was looking at it when it slammed, I think I freaked a few people out.
Everything from Spirited Away
I love that movie. Amazing. I love everything about it, including that it’s Japanese (I so need to learn Japanese). The massive house thingy was brilliant, and I loved Chihiro’s adventure. Mmm…adventures. I’d want to have her adventure, but I wouldn’t want my parents to turn into pigs. No. That wouldn’t be nice.
Things that Indiana Jones searches for
They probably do exist, but I don’t think people like Indy actually swing from ledge to ledge to get em. I dunno, maybe they do. If they don’t…time for me to step in! Aw yeah, I’ll do anything to secure a place in an adventure! I’m rattling on about adventures again…
No future technology
You have no idea how much I want this to be real. I hate the ideas people are getting nowadays. I don’t want those Google glasses things, I don’t want new cars that use keycards instead of keys. I definitely don’t want to pay with my mobile phone instead of a dusty old credit card. I’m still growing up, so by creating those things (yes, I’m talking to you, adults), you’re effectively ruining my future. I HATE this new safety, I want danger again! This world is like a damn prison!
In the National Geographic, it says Canada has these new plastic bank notes. Super. Great. Awesome. Stupid security. I’m not gonna go forging things and stealing money, but the idea of everything being safe and secure sounds horrible. Also, there was some new thing where you don’t need keys to open doors (or even fingerprint), these new pads use VEIN SCANS. WTF?
I’ve been rewatching movies like Indiana Jones and the Dollars trilogy and it got me thinking. It’d be awesome to do any of those things. To rescue treasure, to run away from baddies. Much better than sitting at home and staring at the tv screen and hoping for it to happen. So I decided to learn five different languages.
I already know two: Bulgarian and English. I know a little Spanish. I’m going to learn Latin and French too. And then Russian and Japanese and Korean. I’m also going to learn martial arts, how to shoot a gun, and free running. See, this is what happens when you play too much video games and let Lara Croft influence you.
But seriously though, imagine flinging yourself across ledges, shooting at pygmies, running away from boulders, and kicking doors open. And you know what the best part would be? Being able to sit down with a cup of coffee at the end of a fight while dawn is breaking, ice pack on your injuries, Good Morning America or whatever on tv, and thinking, “Damn, I live a good life.” Well who wouldn’t want that?
I bet Indy’d tell us it’s not as easy as we think it is.
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Anyway, I had forty billion tests the past few weeks, so now in Geography we’re watching documentaries about the world. We watched something about jungle tribes last Friday, and it was pretty sweet. Uh. Last Wednesday I was on some trip for Spanish. I looked like a total loner, none of my friends got invited
I’m also thinking of changing the theme. The background is too ‘blarey’ and the theme is too old. It’s gotta be something along the lines of iNovio (or whatever it’s called), but something that can have a header edited.
What else do I have to say? Well, a teacher told me off for walking out in front of her car on the way to school. She told me to open my eyes. THEY ARE OPEN, ARE YOURS? She was driving like 1mph, I’m not gonna wait sixty hours for her to get her old rust bucket through the gates! That’s a down vote for you on ratemyteachers.com, miss!
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One final note and I’m off. I’m writing an adventure novel, my life is boring. What should the name of the lead male explorer be? I was gonna use Nathan but that’s in a damn game… 😦 I hate accidental copyright 😦
We all know or have known a really whacky person. You know – those people who wash their socks using toilet water or hand in their homework, written on the back of a fast food napkin.
I know the craziest people. Here’s a countdown.
1. The boy that jumped off a building to break his leg. When I was younger, a few summers ago, everyone was breaking their legs. It all started with a kid who broke hers by falling down the stairs. Everyone wanted to try using her crutches, and then got too attatched to them. Why ask to borrow people’s crutches if you can have your own? A boom – just like that, everyone started breaking their legs. The most severe case was when a tiny ginger boy claimed to have jumped off a building to break his ankle. Brain cells = none found. It’s pretty weird actually. Right now, more people are hopping into school on crutches.
2. The toilet juice girl. This was when I was really little. This girl who used to be my friend (she’s disappeared off the face of earth now) was wondering around the school toilets. She stuck her finger inside the toilet, and swiftly swished it around. The next bit is my fault. I told her that toilet water tastes nice (of course it doesn’t, and I’ve never tried it, I just wanted to make her lick her toilet watered finger, because that’s what little kids like to giggle at). She proceeded to practically engulf it.
3. The ‘it’s a mystery!’ girl. A kid who went to my old school thought everything was some sort of conspiracy or demonic mystery. She thought she was Sherlock Holmes. I wish I knew the phrase “no shit, Sherlock” back then. She was pretty fun to be around, though. We had awesome times trying to solve why there were chicken bones in the playground and if they belonged to the child who hadn’t attended school in a few days.
4. The boy in my P.E class. Or gym class, whatever you want to call it. He’s a short, crazy boy. He literally runs around the gym hall, shouting in a high pitched voice. His voice is SO high. I swear to God he drinks helium instead of water. Our P.E class is a mixed set, which means it has boys and girls in it. Other sets are strictly one-gendered, but no. No. I was placed in the bottom set, even though I’m good at sports. The bottom set is horrible. It’s full with overweight clunky girls, bonkers midget boys hopping around, and over-excited slightly-faster-developing teen boys that like to lift their t-shirts up to show the girl show much (not) of a six pack they have. That’s completely useless. No girl in my class is worth showing off to. And I’m not being mean.
5. My dad. My dad is like Homer Simpson. Screw it, my whole family is like the Simpsons. My parents argue about the silliest stuff, like where I got my pyjamas from or why the rice is spitting out vicious streaks of smoke (but I guess that’s miles better than fighting about things like bills). The only difference is, they’re astoundingly clever, and make better choices than Gordon Brown does.
Worthy mentions
The Beatles obsessed boy.
The fried-chicken-eating lanky boy.
The insanely obese girl that never eats.
Me.
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In other damn news, I am taking off the ‘My Books’ page. The reason being is that I took the Ancient Mondays book off Lulu. It’s gonna get published traditionally, and publishers don’t like making previously self-published things.
I’m also gonna include the things I write for magazines etc.
Also, I realize I haven’t posted for about a week. I had enormously important exams, and I have at least 5 left. Damn.
For the past week I’ve been sitting on the same chair, on the same table. I’ve spent my whole week off school revising for those stupid GCSEs teachers can’t seem to stop talking about. And I bet I’ve learnt nothing. 6-8 hours a day, and nothing. I’ve got at least 3 hours of revision left (chemisty, would you freakin’ believe), so I’ll make this post quick. But screw that, let’s talk about something else.
Like this website. You can edit everything on it. It’s just a blank page that you can type on, but I’ve been looking at it for like the past hour or so. You can edit the ending of it (after the slash) to whatever you like and then talk about that. For example, wordpress.
Guys, you know what I want? I want to answer questions. I’m feeling answery! So if you have any questions you want to ask me, ASK! I want to post answers to them here! Just email here: lascarletcat@hotmail.com. Or, just fill out the form here.
In other news (I gotta stop using that), my book is nearly published. Yay! Hopefully the cash’ll start rolling in soon, and I’ll be able to get the hell out from my school.
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I’m currently scrolling through Google’s list of popular keywords, and I have an idea. Why not try and use them all in a paragraph? Awesome, right?!
Callhim should have a space in between, and I noticed that since I’m a grammar nazi. Eurovision 2012 was interesting to watch, it was funny seeing how Britain failed again. Diablo 3 is something that has been very popular in memes recently, and my cat is meowing at the door right now. I have NO idea what impots.gouv.fr is, but I’m guessing it’s from France. Prometheus was a movie my dad saw last weekend, and said it was absolutely crap. He’s never going to the cinema again. Wow, there’s Fifa 13? I remember when my cousin and I played Fifa 7…And what the hell is Hotmail iniciar sesion? Is that in another language? Eokul sounds weird… it sounds like a search engine. And it’s something I don’t know, Google doesn’t know either. Facebook log in? Really? Who searches that? E okul. That again?
That was fun! Once I finished doing that, I got curious and checked UK’s most searched terms. Facebook, BBC, YouTube, Google, you, eBay, hotmail, weather, mail, news. USA’s next! There’s only a few differences…there’s an addition of craigslist and yahoo. You is second. I’m guessing someone tried to type in YouTube and thought their computer had it saved so they could go there by just pressing enter after tapping in ‘you’. Well, if you want to check out more countries, go here.
I’m just gonna leave something here…why is the most searched for thing that leads to my blog “fighter jets”? Are they that popular? Hmm…
Oh! Have you heard about that Miami face eater? He’s a monster!! Apparantely his girlfriend suspects it was voodoo. Interesting. A few days ago I read some statistic thing (here’s the book, it’s brilliant) in school, and if the Illuminati thing is real, a group that falls under them (The Zionists) created diseases like ADHD so they could market drugs. And all diseases are man made. Everything has their sign on it! Nickelodeon, Lady Gaga, the damn dollars, etc!! I don’t know man, but if the government was telling us everything, then we’d be a whole new world. Trust no one. However, I can’t help but hope there is something weird out there, it makes the whole world more mysterious. God, I’m gonna research the crap out of this.
< cool, but might be wrong. Satan comes first. He should be the top triangle.
I’d better go before I bore you even more. I’ve been posting bad quality posts for days now. Revision has sucked out my creative juices. And to finish, check out this site! God, I love visual info.
Yesterday my parents and I got sick of staring at the walls and decided to go somewhere. The past two weeks where tough for all of us (I had exams, and school’s not exactly my bff right now; my mum’s work is always tough; my dad worked 10 days straight for one day off).
So as always, we hopped into our light blue Nissan, and whizzed off to Box Hill, Surrey. They played Hotel California by The Eagles!!! What a damn coincidence! And then I just listed to Led Zeppelin till we got there.
It was ok-ish. I was depressed for a few minutes, saying the view was ugly. Not for long, though. Dad started explaining how green is calming because for billions of years our ancestors were used to trekking around in the trees (until some idiot discovered something that led to what is today). I’m just worried. What if after a few other billions of years humans get used to sitting on their ass in front of the computer? My mum says we never will, the world won’t last another 1000 years.
Then we started climbing over trees and delving into the woods. It was all fine till my parents had the wonderful idea of straying away from the damn signs. So we go deeper and deeper and deeper. We end up going downhill. At one point, we see two rather large holes under the trees. I mean LARGE. Like bear large. They decided to play a trick on me, running away as if something’s chasing us. Awesome.
So we start turning back. It’s time to get out. My dad wants to take a shortcut UP THE SIDES OF THE WOODS. THE STEEP SIDES. I grab onto the roots of the trees, climbing up and up. If I fall, I take down my parents, and probably break a few limbs. Once I’m up, I turn to look at them. My dad’s clinging onto a tree trunk, laughing his face off. My mum’s grabbing onto the soil desperately, practically dying of laughter. What are you doing? We’re about to die from falling and you’re both laughing?
We manage to get up safely. However, there’s iron mesh all over the sides of the woods. So we have to get down now. We walk until we find this steep place with lots of tree roots. My dad helps my mum down first. Then he helps me. They’re kind of like a stair case, the roots.
So we get down, dust each other off. We look back.
WE’RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DAMN BEAR HOLES. WHAT THE-
Then we walk back, I’m just there, shook. My parents are laughing as if nothing happened. When they were young, they spent every day exploring and climbing bigger things than this.
“That was nothing compared to the things we did back in our days,” dad says.
Holy crap, what did you do?
While going back, we see some hikers. With proper hiker gear and sticks and water and backpacks and everything. And we just walked in there? With nothing? My dad looked like he was at a holiday resort, and my mum like she was going shopping. The only useful thing I had was biker boots with a good grip.
(And the animal hole was either a coyote or a bear)
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In other news, my Tumblr is faring pretty well 😀 I’m obsessed 😀
I’ve been editing my Tumblr. It’s now called fiery–origin. It used to be thescarletcat, but that’s not very Tumblr sounding, is it? I changed the theme, the description, and pretty much everything. If you visit, you see a lot of cats and nature.
Anyway, the name came from the Blue Oyster Cult song, Fire of Unknown Origin. I was scrounging for Led Zeppelin url possibilities, but everyone had grabbed ’em and ran away, leaving just one post on their new and fresh Tumblr. They then abandoned them.
You should visit if you like photos of insanely cute cats and puppies, and summer or nature and color. Basically, if you have a soul. Just kidding, go there if you want. I’m just sayin’, you never know, you might find the answer to life… (what the hell am I talking about…ok, new topic!)
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In school, we watched a movie in Spanish. It was called Valentin. An 8 year old aspiring to be an astronaut, is raised by his grandmother (or, basically, he raises her, but let’s carry on). He meets his dad’s 4125232th girlfriend, and then scares her off by saying his dad doesn’t like Jews. Other things ensue. There were a lot of weird things uttered which an 8 year old shouldn’t be saying, but hey, that’s Argentina, I guess they’re like that.
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Oh crap, I’v got another 10 pages of Science homework to finish. Still, it’s better than the 32 I had yesterday. I’ve got a big bunch of exams coming up after 2 weeks, and I’m going to fail. I’ve got 2 geography ones, 1 science, 1 English, 1 maths and another Spanish. Damn.
Talking about Spanish, I’ve got another pen pal! So now I have two Spanish pen pals! Hehe! ¡Viva España!
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Just because I don’t have a lot of things to say today and I want to promote my Tumblr, let me give you a sample of the images you can find there (you can hang them up on your wall to impress someone, there’s food for thought!).
Well, it was just one image, but you’ll have to visit to see the rest, right? Right? I seem so…forcing. Anyway, could any of you give me ideas on how to make my Tumblr better? I want to make it nice 🙂
Thanks guys….
OH btw, I sent my book off to a publishing company. Let’s hope it gets published.
Guess what! I have two weeks off from school! Yes, it’s the long awaited Easter break! I’m gonna have so much fun! If fun means watching tv and laughing at every word my favorite character says the whole day, then yeah, I’m gonna have fun.
I actually made a whole timetable yesterday. It had those fancy columns and writing and ahhh it was nice. Too bad I never used it properly. That timetable went to hell the moment I opened my eyes, a bit later than I was meant to. It was frankly a waste of MB; yes I use my iPad for everything.
The strawberries & cream I made for breakfast turned out horrible. I used sour cream instead of the nice sweet one! I vented out my anger at this by screaming at the characters of One Tree Hill (currently on the telly at that time), but ate it all up anyway. I still feel sick.
I ended up drastically lengthening the periods of ‘computer time’ and ‘Tumblr’, yet incredibly shortening the ‘write essays’ ones once I realised Yahoo!Answers couldn’t help me.
Fortunately, I still managed to squeeze in P90X, TurboFire and Brazil Butt Lift! I’m not letting my sweet body go away that easily!
Woah! I just separated my iPad keyboard in two! Awesome! It’s so confusing writing like this! I feel like I have the temperature and am hallucinating! Time to join the two keyboards together! That’s better!
In other news, I’m starting to write another book! Hopefully I can publish it soon and start throwing money up in the air like confetti, similar to the people in movies.
I guess I’m going to do all my long assignments on Sunday night 12pm, the day before they’re due. Or maybe, the lesson before they’re due! Yes, the library’s great for doing nearly overdue homework! After all, would you want to have a premature baby? No? Then why do homework earlier than it’s due?
Ok before you all start lecturing on my recent lack of posting…well something happened so I couldn’t post. Let me just start allll the way from the beginning, on New Year’s Eve. I’m going to have to be quick- my iPad’s battery is hella low and my charger has been confiscated into the depths of the unknown.
So I was lying on the sofa, wondering if my stomach would be able to contain any more food. I had just eaten my way through a steak, potatoes, mushroom mush thing (my mum loves that thing so much), fake wine (mum’s idea again, sigh), and this badass salad that consisted of plain yogurt and cucumber. Mm.
I had eaten nothing during the day (just like Christmas eve and Christmas day) so I could get all that it. Still, my stomach had began to protrude a little. This did not please me, but I continued to watch Come Dine With Me joyfully, ignoring my mother’s loud laughs at the narrator’s sarcasm.
Oh and I forgot to add that we had baklava for desert… Omg that delicious thing I don’t even know how I managed to eat it without scoffing the whole plate down as well. So I had another piece. And then we made popcorn. And then I had some more of that badass salad. And then after 12pm, we had banitza. It has lucky slips inside, kind of like fortune cookies but less ‘Yoda’ish. Just the general ‘luck’ or ‘new car’ were included in every slice. I got ‘money’, ‘family happiness’, ‘luck’ and ‘health’ over the course of two days. Of course I had to eat more than one slice 😀 I was so lucky I had TWO lucky slips in one slice.
The lucky slips banitza was a little creepy as my parents got exactly what they wanted. My mum got ‘new car’, and my dad got ‘luck at poker’. Oh and then my mum got ‘love’, and my dad got 50p. It’s a tradition to put money in there. I’ll put pictures in this post when my computer is handed back to me
So we all go to bed happy, but I wake up angrily. Jeez, after two days it would be time for school. In the whole day I only watched Don’t Tell The Bride and Come Dine With Me. I also didn’t eat half the day. Then I went crazy on more banitza and baklava.
Yesterday…I had planned a strike to not eat and not get out of my bed the whole day. This was because my parents wanted to send me to school. I thought they let me be home schooled! Make up your mind…anyway I did stay in my bed the whole day, but I snuck in raisins and salt sticks. Then at dinner my mum made me eat moussaka and bread and then a cracker with cream cheese and an apple. These past few meals have been very irregular.
During that day I got my Internet, computer and charging cables for everything taken away. Great. I’m happy that I hid my iPad and iPod though. The bad thing is that the battery is…slowly going…down…
But I had to write today! I don’t want y’all to think that I ran away with another blog and left you all heartbroken. We’re engaged, remember? 😀
I also spent a great deal of time on 4chan.org. Woah, calm down! I did NOT go on the random or /b/ board. Well, I did, but that was only for like one minute before I stumbled on something…unpleasant, and quickly clicked away. I stumbled onto the paranormal or /x/ board and spent a lot of time there. I read tons of ‘creepypasta’ and am now scarred for life. Yeah. That about sums it up.
Anyway, yesterday night my mum made me choose between staying home today cos I was so traumatised from school, but then I had to go tomorrow, or staying at home and letting social services take me away. Man, I hate decisions! But I chose to stay at home, and my mum phoned the school saying I was ill. And now it’s raining hard outside, and the students are all unhappy and miserable, learning about atoms while I’m at home, writing here happily!
I have to revise at some point… I have a geography exam and god knows what else. But I don’t care, if I’m going to be home schooled soon, why the hell revise for tests which will mean nothing?
Ah…I can’t wait to be home schooled. Getting up at 2pm, doing work in my pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate, watching tv… Fun life.
So I have to leave you there, everyone. I have to commence in my ugly learning journey now. I’ll try and write soon…I don’t know if my battery will last. It could be days or weeks before I get everything back. Please don’t leave this blog, please check back, and I love y’all!
Well, if you read my last post you were notified of me wanting to be home schooled. After long-ass researches and practices, I asked my mum.
I was kind of imagining a strong, confident, knowledgeable speech that presented her with tons of facts and statistics about Einstein-like kids, but all that came out was a spring of tears and tons of ‘please!!!’s.
She agreed to research this ‘home school crap!’ (in her words) as long as I promised to visit the doctor in case I have some MASSIVE anxiety problem that prevents me from socializing and going to public school normally. Like wtf? Just because the public Torture Chamber for kids doesn’t suit me, it doesn’t mean I have a long streak of nervous and anxiety disorders.
I don’t, so that’s not a problem, is it? Yup, it is. You see, doctors are known for falsely diagnosing someone of schizophrenia just because they thought they saw their long lost grandma, or anorexia after the scale went down 1 pound.
Their gonna diagnose me with some dire disease and prescribe me medication that makes the pharmacists gasp behind their gentle paws. And that medication, my friends, will make me worse as I actually don’t need it. And then that will lead people to actually believe that I have that disease that I was wrongly diagnosed with.
So fine, I will go to the doctor, but I will definitelynot accept any medication, because I am fine without any.
Every day there’s something on TV. Every. Damn. Day. Some people would think this as good, but no. No. Do you realise how much time you can waste while watching TV? I watch at least four hours a day. But my mum’s friend got x factor tickets and apparately it was awesome. Hmm.
< cool, but might be wrong. Satan comes first. He should be the top triangle.
La Scarlet Cat 
