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Smashing Cones

My school has a tank full of water for when you’re thirsty. So what, you say? Well, they’re cone shaped. So it’s kind of easy to stab yourself or an enemy with them. Just saying. Not a very good thing to implement in a school where people get in fights for a living.

Anyway, I went to my fifth Krav Maga lesson on Thursday, and I think I smashed half my face in. We were doing these falling techniques. The instructor pushed us over, and then we were supposed to fall into a push up. The partner I was with pushed me with the force of air resistance on a plane door and I just about died.

But then came the Parkour type rolls, that I had been practicing at home anyway, so I was the best at that! 😛

I don’t really have anything else to say. I’m just watching the Fix Factor X Factor and listening to random songs. Sigh.

Oh wait, I do have something to tell you! It’s my cousin’s birthday today, and I hope the world ends on the 21st! There have been some NASA rumors going around, that they said there will be a blackout starting from the 21st, lasting three days. Holy crap I hope so 😀

Anyway, bye for now 🙂

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Posted by on December 8, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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Your Relatives’ Most Commonly Used Sayings

Your Relatives’ Most Commonly Used Sayings

Your sitting around the dinner table, happily puncturing your food with the not-so-clean-fork and then shoving it in your mouth. It’s the most you’ve ever eaten. Then, your ear catches something. “You don’t eat enough.” Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Your relatives all have their signature sayings.

“You’re too skinny.”

You smile at your grandparents, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You haven’t seen them in a whole year; the plane tickets cost too much. Trying to push away the thickness of the air, you turn to them and nod. “So, grandpa. How’s the farm? Has the cat given birth yet?” 

Your grandfather nods, grins stiffly and glances at your grandmother. 

“You’re too skinny.” She shakes her head.

This happens to me every single year. It gets especially annoying when they tell you that you can go and visit them, but on the basis of a few terms. You must gain 15 pounds.

But we love them, really!

“When are you getting married?”

“We met at work! I mean, if you can consider the unisex bathroom at our company work!” Your sister roars, patting her husband on the chest lovingly. 

Your parents chuckle. “I guess we’ll be seeing that belly balloon soon!” 

The table goes silent. Your sister is not looking forward to her belly ballooning. 

“So,” your mother looks at you, “when are you getting married?”

I don’t have any siblings, but my relatives (especially the older ones) seem to think it’s still normal for someone to get married in their early teens. Twins on the way? Perfect!

About time, my dear!

About time, my dear!

“If so and so told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?”

“So why aren’t you eating any chocolate anymore?” 

“It’s bad for you.”

“And who told you this?”

“The — the internet.” 

“And if someone on the internet told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?” 

“No, m–” 

“Would you?!” 

“No…”

“No! Hmph.” 

Do you know how many people in life use this? Teachers, parents, your cat. I won’t be surprised if people start using this saying when for e.g, they’re told they need to lay off the meat or they’ll have a heart attack. “I can’t eat meat or I’ll die, you say? Well who told you that? Centuries of books? If those authors told you to jump off a cliff, would you go and do it?”

Google told me to!

“On my head on the fifth floor.” 

“Dad, do you know where my phone is?”

“On my head on the fifth floor.”

If you’re not Bulgarian, you wouldn’t have experienced this, but in Bulgaria parents use this a lot (at least in my experience, they do).

When someone says this, it basically implies that they have five floors on their head, and that the thing you are looking for is on the fifth floor. I used to be quite confused with this concept when I was young. “But daddy, your head only has two floors!”

I couldn’t find it, dad. Maybe it’s on your seventh chin, instead.

On that note, I’ll finish with a few more that didn’t make the list, but are pretty “my parents [used to] say that!”:

  • When you fall out of that tree and break both your legs don’t come running to me!
  • Do you want a smack? (yes please, mummy!)
  • Can’t never did.
  • Close the door, were you raised in a barn? (and then they don’t close it themselves)

And one funny website: 

 
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Posted by on December 3, 2012 in Everything, Informative

 

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Mother Tongues

Mother Tongues

Guys, something hit me yesterday and I’ve just realized that I’m forgetting my own mother tongue. I came to England when I was nearly six, so just a little less of a decade has passed. I still speak fluent Bulgarian to my parents and family members, but when I’m at school, I obviously can’t do that (well, I tried once. Guess if it worked out?).

So this morning, I’ve been constantly listening to Bulgarian songs and trying to think in the language. It’s gonna be pretty tough though, since when I’m writing books in English, it’s impossible.

I’m so scared of forgetting it, I’m beginning to think I should scrap all my future in other countries and languages, and move back to Bulgaria. Gah, I don’t know! What would you guys do?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad

Anyway, in Krav Maga we learned how to defend ourselves against kicks. It was a good lesson, since I love to kick really high. Unfortunately, I was paired up with a little kid who didn’t really know what he was doing. It doesn’t matter, at least I’ll learn how to kick ass.

In other news, I keep procrastinating (how the hell do you even write that word?), so my book has not budged…a word. Some of the planning is done, though. The book I’m talking about it ‘The Question’; you can see more about it here, even though it’s probably just a sentence.

Why did I choose to do creative things? They're so hard!

But, I’ve done one thing! I’ve finished my new digital art thingy! I think it’s a slight improvement from the last one, but there are still a few problems. What do you think? I’m just happy I did something for a change 🙂

Another thing I need to ask you guys: What should one do to look more girly? I’m obviously female, it’s just I’ve sort of tomboyed it out till now, and it’s beginning to have an effect on my confidence (and attractiveness). I don’t know what to do with my ponytailed hair, whether to splodge on make up, or to just call it a day and remain ugly.

So, bye for now 🙂

PS. The new blog plan is working out for now!! 😀

diya

 
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Posted by on December 1, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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Anniversaries and bruises

That sounds a lot like a domestic abuse title, doesn’t it? Anyway, it isn’t!

Today I logged on to check how many days I haven’t written here (oops) and an orange notification delighted me!    It’s my WordPress anniversary! That’s right, I’ve been here for a year! It’s a paper anniversary! I think should be a gateway to a new era of LaScarletCat. I’ve decided I’m going to produce more entertaining articles to post here, instead of my dreary life logs. So that’ll be the next post since I need to update you on a few things!

I attended my third Krav Maga lesson on Thursday! You have no idea how many bruises there are on my forearms. For the first day I couldn’t move my hands, then the bruises appeared, and now my hands are still shaking a little. Wow. I was told I’d get hurt, but I didn’t expect this much!

Still, guys, go sign up to your nearest Krav Maga class because it feels so badass slapping and punching hands away from your face in defense. It is awesome. Plus, it’ll com in use someday. Yesterday on the road (in a shady part of town) I realized a guy was following me. I could feel his breath on my shoulder. So I just speed-walked my way into a crowd. Phew. Nothing happened, but it could’ve.

I’m learning a lot of Spanish (as usual) and started studying Korean (man, it sounds awesome! And the alphabet is super easy to learn so I don’t have to waste years perfecting my Kanji). I’m starting to write my two novels today, and should complete my new digital painting soon 🙂

In between job hunting, writing, drawing, learning and training, I don’t have any time for myself (well, okay, maybe an episode of HIMYM or SPN from time to time…).

So, bye bye for now, guys, and see you in the next post! (now I tick ‘write on blog’ off my checklist).

PS. Let’s calculate how many times I post. So, 365 (one year since the beginning!) / 58 (number of posts) = 6.3. There you go, guys, I post every 6 days. Hehe. I need to get that number down.

PSS. I just realized this is not the one year anniversary, but the one year and 10 days anniversary :/ Still, worth celebrating!

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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I know how to kill you in three different ways

News!

On Thursday I joined a Krav Maga club! Krav Maga is not really a martial art, it’s a self-defense system. An awesome one with no rules. When I first entered the room, there were knives laid out in a neat line, and punching bags. Oh, yeahhhhh. Over the years of doing tricks with my school ruler, I’ve learnt to flip knives and things of that size, so those sharp objects were a pleasant sight to me (what is happening to me?).

We started out doing push ups, sit ups and other warm up stuff. I think I did well, since I already train at home. Then we got in pairs and did this sort of defense-push thing. I felt pretty bad for my partner, who apologized every time he hit me.

Anyway, I go every week, and hopefully it’ll increase to two times per week. I’m looking forward to being able to say, “I know how to kill you in three different ways,” since Krav Maga is not about ending a fight in peace and discipline or whatever Karate and TaeKwonDo are, but by getting the hell outta there, even if it kills the person you’re fighting.

I went shopping for new trainers today, since my old ones were skidding across the floor of the training room :/ I nearly fell, and that wouldn’t have gone down well in a class full of overconfident boys and girly-girls. We were also offered to buy insurance, in case something happens to us while we’re training. Oh, boy. 

Bye for now guys, I’ll make a Krav Maga category so I can track my progress 😀

PS. ALSO, today I found my crush’s Facebook. Oh yeah. ;D

 

 
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Posted by on November 10, 2012 in Everything

 

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Aside

Yesterday I was revising for Chemistry, and on one of the pages I saw this:

Image

Yeah, it was a paragraph about how fossil fuels are poisonous (mark the dinosaur above Mr Cage’s head), but look at how those big headed cartoons look like Nicolas Cage! All of them (okay, maybe not the dinosaur).

It’s not really anything life changing, but a few months ago I was browsing fact sites and I found this. Nicky on a Serbian Biology Textbook!

In fact I kind of understand Serbian. It says: BIOLOGY, for 8 something something thorough school. Basically, a thorough guide to biology.

But what is it with Nicolas Cage and Science textbooks? What is he, the God of Science, now? Woah. Now that I think about it, maybe he is some immortal God. Wasn’t he in that eBay photo from the 18th century or something? And is he wearing a skirt? Why does he look like a Mexican in a rose field?

Anyway, there’s this new black and white Brad Pitt ad on TV where he’s promoting some perfume that my dad would probably make some remark about (“even old grannies wouldn’t pick this up” and “are you supposed to clean your toilet with this or wear it?”).

I was learning Spanish today so I’m going to finish this off in Spanish. If you don’t speak Spanish, there’s always Google Translate, which won’t hesitate to do a half-assed kindergarten attempt to translate it.

Quiero un Mustang. Quiero mucho dinero pero yo soy pobre. No sé. Bien, adios.

Nicolas Cage on my Science Textbook

 
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Posted by on October 19, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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Popeye and Hours

Popeye and Hours

Hi!

I’m typing this half scratched to death because a while ago I started crazily dancing to ‘Wheel in the Sky’ by Journey, and my cat just couldn’t help himself. But c’mon, tell me it isn’t catchy.

All I can say right now is THANK GOD for E4! Without it I wouldn’t have found How I Met Your Mother, and I would have spent hours depressing myself about my situation instead of watching awesome TV.

Anyway, I seriously need to do something about my money-less situation. I’m not panicking or anything. It’s just that if I don’t make $400,000 by the end of 2.4 years I’ll have to stay in London and die in depression! Okay, maybe I’m a bit panicked. But still, I’ve added this ‘Hire Me’ button thing on the sidebar, so if you need someone to work through the night, tirelessly typing from old books, hire me!

In other news, my arms are getting muscley again, which I’m happy about because when someone asks me where something is, I get to flex my arms when pointing backwards and they do this awesome Popeye thing! 😀

I’m probably going swimming tomorrow, and joining a martial arts class, so there ya go! Training myself for the future (just learn about what I’ve learnt about and see what I have and then see if you still don’t want to do anything about it)!

My book is…not going places. Rewrites are harder than I thought!

Ooo, and does anyone watch the XFactor? I watch the British one and the American one. They’re two hours each, and it’s PAINFUL to sit through them and the commercial breaks, but something makes me do it :/ Every day there’s something on TV. Every. Damn. Day. Some people would think this as good, but no. No. Do you realise how much time you can waste while watching TV? I watch at least four hours a day. But my mum’s friend got x factor tickets and apparately it was awesome. Hmm.

Okay, so. 4 hours x 7 days. 28 hours. 28 hours x 52 weeks. 1456 hours. 1456 hours is 60.6 days. Holy crap. That’s nearly 61 days of my YEAR wasted. I could be doing something else. I could write two books in that time! Argh.

But wait. That’s not all. How many days in my whole life do I waste? I’ve lived 15 years of my life, so let’s say I get lucky and have 70 left. 60.6 x 70 = 4242. That’s 101808 hours, dude. 11.6 years of my life…that’s a kid…gone. . To watching TV? I need to do something with my life. Sigh.

And since my hits are going down, do you guys have any suggestions as to what I could add on the blog? I mean, it’s been running for a year and I still get less hits than the illiterate ‘Twilight Reviews’ websites :/

For now, bye guys! If you’ve read this far, I love y’all!

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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