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Top Five ‘That Exists?’ Things

Top Five ‘That Exists?’ Things

Have you ever read about something that made you go, “Holy crap, that exists?” I have! And here are the top contenders  You’ll be sure to be spitting out your drinks at these.

Number Stations

Number stations are radio broadcasts that date back to World War 1 or even before that, that just basically list numbers in different languages. They’re stations that play static or are silent, except for when someone gets on it and reads out a string of letters or numbers.

No one knows what their reason is but many people suspect they are coded messages used for espionage.

One example is UVB-76. It’s been broadcasting for thirty years, from a live source, not a recording, nonstop, except for three times when someone came on and read some Russian names and left.

Square Watermelons

Oh, those Japanese. They realized what a bother it was to fit a tumbling round watermelon in a fridge, so they started producing cube ones. They do this by inserting the watermelon into a cube, tempered glass while the fruit is still growing on the vine.

square-watermellons_1

You think that’s cool? Wait till you see the  heart shaped and pyramid watermelons!

watermelon-heart medium_pyramid_melon

The Baby Mop

Let your baby clean while it crawls! If you like the idea of dressing your child up as a malfunctioning millipede or human-shaped octopus, then by the Baby Mop! Of course, the Japanese started it as a spoof advertisement, and it became a real thing.

baby mop

babymop

The Barreleye Fish

So there’s this fish, that, oh, you know, has a transparent head that glows. They are found in water as deep as 3330 feet (1015 m), and spotted in the Pacific Ocean, from the Bering Sea to Japan (is it me or is there a running pattern here?) and Baja California, Mexico. They’re so awesome, that their food and predators are unknown!

fish-with-transparent-head-barreleye-spook-fish-1

Talking about creepy creatures, have you heard of the Elbow Squid? Well, you wouldn’t want to! Their arms poke down at an incredible length of 20 feet (6 meters)!

images (1)

 

Butter Stick Type

butter

Let’s finish on something completely ridiculous. So, you see how glue sticks give off that ‘heehee I’m high!’ smell? Well, let’s spread some of that on toast! Just kidding, this stick actually has butter inside. Mhm. Long gone are the days of messy knives. The Butter Stick Type is here!

Funnily enough, this actually looks quite convenient. You can take it with you, use it on things like bagels easily, and you don’t have to wash it, unlike a knife.

Or we could just, you know, opt for the spray butter.

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2012 in Everything, Informative

 

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Smashing Cones

My school has a tank full of water for when you’re thirsty. So what, you say? Well, they’re cone shaped. So it’s kind of easy to stab yourself or an enemy with them. Just saying. Not a very good thing to implement in a school where people get in fights for a living.

Anyway, I went to my fifth Krav Maga lesson on Thursday, and I think I smashed half my face in. We were doing these falling techniques. The instructor pushed us over, and then we were supposed to fall into a push up. The partner I was with pushed me with the force of air resistance on a plane door and I just about died.

But then came the Parkour type rolls, that I had been practicing at home anyway, so I was the best at that! 😛

I don’t really have anything else to say. I’m just watching the Fix Factor X Factor and listening to random songs. Sigh.

Oh wait, I do have something to tell you! It’s my cousin’s birthday today, and I hope the world ends on the 21st! There have been some NASA rumors going around, that they said there will be a blackout starting from the 21st, lasting three days. Holy crap I hope so 😀

Anyway, bye for now 🙂

20120626-193800.jpg

 
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Posted by on December 8, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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Your Relatives’ Most Commonly Used Sayings

Your Relatives’ Most Commonly Used Sayings

Your sitting around the dinner table, happily puncturing your food with the not-so-clean-fork and then shoving it in your mouth. It’s the most you’ve ever eaten. Then, your ear catches something. “You don’t eat enough.” Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Your relatives all have their signature sayings.

“You’re too skinny.”

You smile at your grandparents, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You haven’t seen them in a whole year; the plane tickets cost too much. Trying to push away the thickness of the air, you turn to them and nod. “So, grandpa. How’s the farm? Has the cat given birth yet?” 

Your grandfather nods, grins stiffly and glances at your grandmother. 

“You’re too skinny.” She shakes her head.

This happens to me every single year. It gets especially annoying when they tell you that you can go and visit them, but on the basis of a few terms. You must gain 15 pounds.

But we love them, really!

“When are you getting married?”

“We met at work! I mean, if you can consider the unisex bathroom at our company work!” Your sister roars, patting her husband on the chest lovingly. 

Your parents chuckle. “I guess we’ll be seeing that belly balloon soon!” 

The table goes silent. Your sister is not looking forward to her belly ballooning. 

“So,” your mother looks at you, “when are you getting married?”

I don’t have any siblings, but my relatives (especially the older ones) seem to think it’s still normal for someone to get married in their early teens. Twins on the way? Perfect!

About time, my dear!

About time, my dear!

“If so and so told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?”

“So why aren’t you eating any chocolate anymore?” 

“It’s bad for you.”

“And who told you this?”

“The — the internet.” 

“And if someone on the internet told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?” 

“No, m–” 

“Would you?!” 

“No…”

“No! Hmph.” 

Do you know how many people in life use this? Teachers, parents, your cat. I won’t be surprised if people start using this saying when for e.g, they’re told they need to lay off the meat or they’ll have a heart attack. “I can’t eat meat or I’ll die, you say? Well who told you that? Centuries of books? If those authors told you to jump off a cliff, would you go and do it?”

Google told me to!

“On my head on the fifth floor.” 

“Dad, do you know where my phone is?”

“On my head on the fifth floor.”

If you’re not Bulgarian, you wouldn’t have experienced this, but in Bulgaria parents use this a lot (at least in my experience, they do).

When someone says this, it basically implies that they have five floors on their head, and that the thing you are looking for is on the fifth floor. I used to be quite confused with this concept when I was young. “But daddy, your head only has two floors!”

I couldn’t find it, dad. Maybe it’s on your seventh chin, instead.

On that note, I’ll finish with a few more that didn’t make the list, but are pretty “my parents [used to] say that!”:

  • When you fall out of that tree and break both your legs don’t come running to me!
  • Do you want a smack? (yes please, mummy!)
  • Can’t never did.
  • Close the door, were you raised in a barn? (and then they don’t close it themselves)

And one funny website: 

 
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Posted by on December 3, 2012 in Everything, Informative

 

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Anniversaries and bruises

That sounds a lot like a domestic abuse title, doesn’t it? Anyway, it isn’t!

Today I logged on to check how many days I haven’t written here (oops) and an orange notification delighted me!    It’s my WordPress anniversary! That’s right, I’ve been here for a year! It’s a paper anniversary! I think should be a gateway to a new era of LaScarletCat. I’ve decided I’m going to produce more entertaining articles to post here, instead of my dreary life logs. So that’ll be the next post since I need to update you on a few things!

I attended my third Krav Maga lesson on Thursday! You have no idea how many bruises there are on my forearms. For the first day I couldn’t move my hands, then the bruises appeared, and now my hands are still shaking a little. Wow. I was told I’d get hurt, but I didn’t expect this much!

Still, guys, go sign up to your nearest Krav Maga class because it feels so badass slapping and punching hands away from your face in defense. It is awesome. Plus, it’ll com in use someday. Yesterday on the road (in a shady part of town) I realized a guy was following me. I could feel his breath on my shoulder. So I just speed-walked my way into a crowd. Phew. Nothing happened, but it could’ve.

I’m learning a lot of Spanish (as usual) and started studying Korean (man, it sounds awesome! And the alphabet is super easy to learn so I don’t have to waste years perfecting my Kanji). I’m starting to write my two novels today, and should complete my new digital painting soon 🙂

In between job hunting, writing, drawing, learning and training, I don’t have any time for myself (well, okay, maybe an episode of HIMYM or SPN from time to time…).

So, bye bye for now, guys, and see you in the next post! (now I tick ‘write on blog’ off my checklist).

PS. Let’s calculate how many times I post. So, 365 (one year since the beginning!) / 58 (number of posts) = 6.3. There you go, guys, I post every 6 days. Hehe. I need to get that number down.

PSS. I just realized this is not the one year anniversary, but the one year and 10 days anniversary :/ Still, worth celebrating!

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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I know how to kill you in three different ways

News!

On Thursday I joined a Krav Maga club! Krav Maga is not really a martial art, it’s a self-defense system. An awesome one with no rules. When I first entered the room, there were knives laid out in a neat line, and punching bags. Oh, yeahhhhh. Over the years of doing tricks with my school ruler, I’ve learnt to flip knives and things of that size, so those sharp objects were a pleasant sight to me (what is happening to me?).

We started out doing push ups, sit ups and other warm up stuff. I think I did well, since I already train at home. Then we got in pairs and did this sort of defense-push thing. I felt pretty bad for my partner, who apologized every time he hit me.

Anyway, I go every week, and hopefully it’ll increase to two times per week. I’m looking forward to being able to say, “I know how to kill you in three different ways,” since Krav Maga is not about ending a fight in peace and discipline or whatever Karate and TaeKwonDo are, but by getting the hell outta there, even if it kills the person you’re fighting.

I went shopping for new trainers today, since my old ones were skidding across the floor of the training room :/ I nearly fell, and that wouldn’t have gone down well in a class full of overconfident boys and girly-girls. We were also offered to buy insurance, in case something happens to us while we’re training. Oh, boy. 

Bye for now guys, I’ll make a Krav Maga category so I can track my progress 😀

PS. ALSO, today I found my crush’s Facebook. Oh yeah. ;D

 

 
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Posted by on November 10, 2012 in Everything

 

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New Obsessions

Oh God.

I’ve entered a new obsession. Fortunately it isn’t a TV series related one this time (well there is HIMYM but that’s not…an obsession. It isn’t! I swear!).

I’ve begun to draw! Again! For those of you that don’t know, I used to LOVE drawing when I was 7 – 11. I filled out sketchpads, drew my hand off, etc.

But I’ve only decided to get serious now. I discovered my new obsession on 4chan (oh, Geez) on the /ic/ board. Then that led to DeviantArt. Now, most of the stuff on DeviantArt is anime. Anime, anime, anime! Grr. But if you search enough (past all the Illuminati drawings too), you get to the really meaty stuff. That stuff made me jealous.

I’m a jealous person in nature. It doesn’t do good for me. So I remembered my old drawing to drawing (hehe) and    began to practice. Guys, I practice 3 – 6 hours a day :/ The improvement (in a week or so) has been massive.

I got a new sketchpad a few days ago too. Depression settled in after I realized I needed a tablet, but then I remembered! … I won $200 in a logo design competition recently! So I tried to buy a Wacom but my dad got all “naw naw naw!!” so yeah, that didn’t happen. FOR. A. DAY. I ordered it yesterday! It’s supposed to arrive today, so I’m just sitting here, excitement pouring out of my mouth.

But yeah, here’s my deviantArt. Even though it’s got no art on it yet! Soon there’ll be a ‘My Art’ tab here!

Guys, when my dad came home from Bulgaria a month ago, he gave me a book to read. It’s called 30 Pounds (translated from Bulgarian) and it’s about a man that goes to London and meets a guy and they become friends and bla bla. But there was this weird paragraph too. It was about an unborn baby and it’s mother talking. I’ll translate it:

While falling asleep, he thought, to die, actually might not be that scary. You just fall asleep and disappear forever, was the last thought, before sleep wrapped around him.

In his dream, he saw a baby. It was in its mother’s stomach and in some mad way was conversing with her.

“Mum, do you believe in life after birth?” it asked.

“Of course, my boy,” she replied warmly. “Life after birth exists and it is wonderful. Soon, you yourself will understand.”

“You’re being silly, mum. There can’t be life after birth!” The baby was shocked.

“But, my boy, I am there now. Believe me – there is life like this. Here there is only light, we walk on our legs and eat with our mouth. You’ll like it, you’ll see.”

“It’s not possible to walk with your own legs. Neither is eating with your mouth. Why do we have this cord, then? No, you can’t trick me, that there is life after birth. Plus, no one has returned from there. So life just ends with birth. That’s it.”

“Believe me, son. There’s life after birth. You yourself will find out. When you’re born, you’ll meet me. I will wait for you there. And I’ll still take care of you and even love you even more.”

“But, mum, you can’t exist after my birth. When that day comes and I’m born, everything will end and you will also disappear.”

Pretty cool, right? It made me think about afterlife and stuff…So, talk to you later guys, right now How I Met Your Mother is running on TV and I have to focus my life on it.

PS. NaNoWriMo started and I still haven’t planned my book.

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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Aside

Yesterday I was revising for Chemistry, and on one of the pages I saw this:

Image

Yeah, it was a paragraph about how fossil fuels are poisonous (mark the dinosaur above Mr Cage’s head), but look at how those big headed cartoons look like Nicolas Cage! All of them (okay, maybe not the dinosaur).

It’s not really anything life changing, but a few months ago I was browsing fact sites and I found this. Nicky on a Serbian Biology Textbook!

In fact I kind of understand Serbian. It says: BIOLOGY, for 8 something something thorough school. Basically, a thorough guide to biology.

But what is it with Nicolas Cage and Science textbooks? What is he, the God of Science, now? Woah. Now that I think about it, maybe he is some immortal God. Wasn’t he in that eBay photo from the 18th century or something? And is he wearing a skirt? Why does he look like a Mexican in a rose field?

Anyway, there’s this new black and white Brad Pitt ad on TV where he’s promoting some perfume that my dad would probably make some remark about (“even old grannies wouldn’t pick this up” and “are you supposed to clean your toilet with this or wear it?”).

I was learning Spanish today so I’m going to finish this off in Spanish. If you don’t speak Spanish, there’s always Google Translate, which won’t hesitate to do a half-assed kindergarten attempt to translate it.

Quiero un Mustang. Quiero mucho dinero pero yo soy pobre. No sé. Bien, adios.

Nicolas Cage on my Science Textbook

 
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Posted by on October 19, 2012 in Daily Life, Everything

 

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