No, guys. There wasn’t an actual dead baby outside. It was just a doll from the fat toddler that lives on the first floor and occasionally appears to annoy us.
The first time I saw it I nearly pissed myself. How the hell was the baby wearing white clothes? The people on the first floor can afford white clothes? They have a washing machine?
I kid, I kid (dead baby kid). Now, whenever my dad sees anyone, he makes sure to say “There’s a dead baby outside!” or “Honey, we should call the police! There’s a dead baby outside!”
Today I was an ill idiot, so I stayed at home and read a billion poker books. Ahh, poker. The reason I still have hope. You can lose everything you have in one hand, but also gain everything you could ever wish for in another.
I was reading Shut up and Deal this morning, and I came across the story of the monkeys. I don’t know where the book is now, and I can’t be bothered to get it out and type away a whole page, so I’ll summarize it in my own words:
If you give a monkey a typewriter and let his randomly bang away at the keys, you’ll no doubt produce a sheet full of crap. But in between the random “fsghd”s, you’ll come across a word that makes sense. Add more monkeys, and you’ll still get a load of crap, but among all that they’ll have produced a coherent sentence.
Now, if you get an infinite amount of monkeys, and an infinite amount of typewriters, and an infinite amount of time, they’ll eventually produce works of Shakespeare.
Awesome, huh? Just like the main character Mickey, that story will now be stuck in my mind forever.
Man, yesterday I randomly logged into a PokerStars table, and guess what my first cards were? A♦ and K♦. Now, after losing a considerable amount of money yesterday, I raised like hell (that Zeppelin song also got me pumped up). Guess what the flop was? Q♦, J♦, 9♦. I already had a damn flush, oh holy hell. And I had the nut flush too! With a ROYAL FLUSH on the horizon! Then… K♣. Ok, awesome. Still waiting for that royal flush! 10♣. I didn’t get the royal flush, but I had a straight. A damn good straight. And I robbed 5,500 chips off some poor fellows.
Yeah, yesterday was my “it” day! Ok, so I’ll be off playing poker. After all, I do need $400,000 something by the end of 2 1/2 years.
PS. I’ve also added a “Follow Me” thingy at the sidebar, just to let you know I have a Twitter.